Porn for Women

I juddered to an earth shattering orgasm, falling apart into a million billion shards of pure pleasure as Edward Christian grazes a thumb on my wrist. I’m still fully dressed, im biting my lip, it’s midday and I’m a spilt-personality 20 year old virgin who never masturbates… I swear.

50 Shades of Grey is the fastest selling novel of all time. So what’s it got that Moby Dick doesn’t?

In a word: sex.

S&M has gone mainstream and the ladies are loving it. It doesn’t matter that the kink is tame, or that the main character refers to her gash as down there. It doesn’t even matter that the sadist of the piece contractually prohibits himself from all the really sadistic stuff, and contents himself with a constant stream of conventional boning and the odd slap on the arse. After all sadists just want to be loved… and to buy you a car and a Macbook pro… and clean plates, sadists really like a clean plate… EAT, DAMN IT!

On the plus side 50 shades celebrates kink. It’s great that the mainstream is acknowledging that people are out there, doing the bold in many different and interesting ways. On the minus side we get a heroine who generally just lies there like a sack of spuds having unlikely orgasm after orgasm while her cringe-making ‘inner goddess’ and slut-shaming ‘subconscious’ grapple with the ins and outs of S&M.

It’s not exactly an empowering depiction of female sexuality, in fact it’s closer to How to Marry a Milionaire. 

Whats really great about a book like 50 Shades is the endless discussions it prompts; about men and women and power and money and sex and kink and more sex. Not to mention how brilliantly awful the film version is likely to be!

VIVA LA S&M!