“Yeah, I’ll check his email. I’ll check his Twitter. I’ll check his phone. Everything seems fine,” she said. “He says I’m a jealous girl, but I think I’m fairly laidback, considering.”
Oh my, Jools Oliver, wife of Jamie, you are NOT fairly laid-back, you are quite paranoid and neurotic. You are, however, in good company.
Technology and social media make keeping tabs on your significant other easy and quick and the temptation is ever-present. In this weekends Sunday Times Style magazine interview Mrs. Oliver comes off as anxiety ridden, so it’s unsurprising that she needs to keep tabs on Jamie.
We all know it’s easy to become paranoid; he’s always on his damn phone, and he brings it to the bathroom, why does he need his phone in the bathroom? WHAT IS HE HIDING! But it’s a vicious circle Jools, keep checking and eventually you’ll find something to worry about. Also as a general rule of thumb, I think we can agree it’s cool to check his phone and his twitter and his Facebook and secretly follow him while wearing a wig. But don’t TELL him that! And definitely don’t announce it in the Sunday Times, they’ll all find out what we’ve been up to!
Other gems from Mrs. Oliver include her complete lack of ambition for her children:
“I don’t think they’ll go to university, Jamie and I didn’t.”
So you don’t expect Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo, Petal Blossom and Buddy Bear to excel academically? But their names inspire such respect, surely a glittering career in academia awaits!
Nah, seriously, I’m not going to pontificate about how to have a successful marriage or parent your kids (I don’t have a boyfriend and I think my plant is dead.) But PLEASE let the kids get a degree if that’s what they’re into, and for Gods sake, keep snooping but STOP talking about it!
You’re making us look bad in front of the men-folk!
VIVA LA PARANOIA!
*The wisdom of Janelle from Teen Mom 2.
Viva la Slut 