Vagina Periscope!

Ugh, I have abornormal cervical smear test results. Now I have to have a colposcopy.

Whats this now? I hear you cry. Why, it’s a ten minute test involving dye being painted onto your cervix and a very VERY close look being taken by a doctor using a vagina periscope. (Ok… I made up the vagina periscope.)

DYE, DYE on my cervix!

I must say I felt a million times better after I read this very helpful article on one of my favorite websites: http://vagendamag.blogspot.ie/2012/08/vagina-panic.html

I’m still panicing a bit, but I feel a million times less alone!

VIVA LA VAGENDA!

Right, at the risk of turning vivalaslut into the vagina monologues, lets talk lady parts…again.

A short while ago I allowed a woman I don’t know to insert a clear plastic phallus into my vagina and swab my cervix with what looked to me like a mascara wand. (Too graphic?) Yes friends, I had a cervical smear test, or pap smear, if you are american. Like the ladies in the fantastic 60’s comic I read on the subject. (Read the full comic here.)

I may as well be honest, it was SO uncomfortable, but only for about 30 seconds. A nurse at my GPs office did it, and for some reason I trusted her less than I would have a doctor. Also when I arrived she was taking out the bins, so when she asked if I had any questions I wanted to say “Are you SURE you’re a real nurse?”

I’ve had an abnormal smear test result in the past so I’m slightly apprehensive about the results. But I am pleased that after months of stalling while my mother badgered me about my cervix, I finally booked and underwent my second ever cervical smear.

May it be the second of many!

VIVA LA CERVIX!