Run Katie, Run!

Faster Katie, he’s beside you! (Hehe, I can see his nips!)

Katie Holmes’ shock exit from her marriage to Tom Cruise is starting to look increasingly like a blueprint for leaving an abusive relationship. This is one of those partnerships that always struck me as bizarre. We hear a lot about how crazy controlling Tom is, and how messed up the demands of scientology are.

Now details are emerging that Katie used a burner* to hire legal representation in THREE freaking states (three) and wants to change Suri’s name to Scout. Using a throwaway cellphone is one of the tips given to women trying to leave an abusive partner, along with making a plan and confiding in a friend. Weirdly, an early warning sign of an abusive partner is rushing the early stages of the relationship.

I know I’m idly speculating here, but remember this?

Creepy.

Yep. No one was buying that shit, Tom. Mainly because you seem pretty gay, but also because the couch-jumping was just so freaking insincere! There’s just something troubling about this guy, he seems so ill at ease with himself and as a consequence his relationships with women never quite seem right. Rumour has it the ladies in Tom’s life sign a contract and that seems like a likely scenario, a few quid for 5 years service, a few extra for 10, jackpot for the baby-mamas. Scientology is weird man!

Meanwhile, Tom’s camp invite us to believe that he wanted a divorce, because he’s involved with his Oblivion co-star Olga Kurylenko.

Yep… alright Tom…again, just… whatever.

Either way this is a great message to women in controlling/abusive relationships. Make a plan and get out.

VIVA LA FREEDOM!

*A burner is a mobile phone you buy expressly for one purpose and then throw away. (Watch The Wire for more burner related information, and just general awesomeness.)

Flicking the Switch

Whats up with that on/off emotional switch that all men seem to be born with. One minute you’re love’s young dream, frolicking through meadows, meant to be, star crossed lovers, the next its all over without so much as a backward glance from him.

I still want to call him, I want to know he’s ok. Also I have a LOT of shit I want to say to him re: breaking up. I want to talk it out! Find out where the hell it went wrong. What did I do? I want to know his feeling on this. But it’s too fucking late, because he’s flicked the switch, so he no longer has any feelings.

I still do… and that makes me feel weak and pathetic and ashamed… I wish I was a fucking robot.

What is the deal here, can anyone shed some light on this? Is it maybe just Irish men that have this innate ability? Or is it that the guys are feeling shitty and missing us too, just really, really subtly?

Thoughts?