This man is Anthony Lyons, an aviation broker of Griffith Avenue, who’s just been sentenced to six years in prison for sexual assault, with FIVE AND A HALF YEARS suspended. He’s also been instructed to pay his victim €75,000.

The assault took place 5 minutes from where I live and the perpetrator lives next door to my doctor. Anthony Lyons was walking home from my local pub, The Ivy House that night.

Is it me or does 6 months and a fine sound like a more apt sentence for a petty offense rather than rugby tackling a 27-year-old woman to the ground and attempting to rape her?

Lyons initially denied everything, but later admitted to the attack, saying that blood pressure medication mixed with cough syrup and Guinness provoked an ‘irresistable urge’ to attack the victim. The jury rejected this defense and convicted Lyons.

Sensible jury.

Using the ‘Twinkie defence’ on a sexual assault charge is ludicrous, there is no amount of Guinness or drugs, recreational or prescription, that justify attempting to rape someone. AGAIN this demeans men as slaves to their sexual ‘urges’. It’s no different than saying ‘her skirt was too short’.

What does everybody think? Does this sentence seem fitting?

VIVA LA JUSTICE

‘Don’t get raped’ say West Mercia Police

 

To save your eyes, that says:

Don’t let a night full of promise…turn into a morning of regret

Don’t leave yourself more vulnerable to regretful sex or even rape.

Drink sensibly and get home safely.

Oh really, West Mercia Police? Don’t get raped? Seriously?

I, personally, had never fucking THOUGHT of NOT binge drinking till I couldn’t fucking MOVE. But I think I may be in the minority there.

Lets check, shall we? Ladies? Anyone? Bar the cast of Jersey Shore?

Actually, lets not even bother, because interestingly, being drunk doesn’t make you any more or less likely to be raped. That’s right, West Mercia Police. The odds of being raped while shit-faced are EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME as being raped while you’re sober. Do you know why?

BECAUSE THE VICTIM ISNT TO BLAME FOR THE RAPE.

I think the person you’re after there is the rapist.

This is the kind of thing you should REALLY be aware of.

IF YOU’RE THE FUCKING POLICE.

While we’re on the topic, linking ‘regretful sex’ with rape is dangerously misleading. The two bear absolutely no relation to each other. One is a hilarious anecdote that ends with me climbing out a window at dawn, the other is a sickening crime.

The rate of conviction for rape is 6%. So what’s needed from the police is a bit less slut-shaming and a bit more efficacy.

VIVA LA SLUT!

Surprise Surprise

 

Oh Cilla, you had it figured out, nobody fucked with you!

So Date Guy is back in contact! Surprise surprise! More than a week after I text him and nearly two since I last saw him Date Guy is back with a bang (well, maybe less a bang, more a mildly apologetic text, but you catch my drift!)

So he wants to meet up again, the last date was 8 hours long, we didn’t do the bold but we had the chats and a few whiskeys and we went back to his place.

One date and then a two week absence doesn’t exactly scream interest. And to tell the truth it kind of put me off the whole internet dating thing. It was quite deflating not to hear from him after I thought we got on so well.

So what do we think? Should I text him back?

Do we allow this kind of thing?

VIVA LA SECOND DATE?

 

VIVA LA SLUT!

 

A great article about being a slut: http://tomatonation.com/culture-and-criticism/a-four-letter-word/

 

So Kristen Stewart is officially busted doing the bold with Robert Sanders, the director of Snow White and the Huntsman. Us Weekly has pictures of them smooching in a car. Kristen has released a statement apologising to Robert Pattison, who I think we can now safely say is her actual boyf, and Sanders has released a statement of apology to his wife Liberty Ross and their children.

Liberty Ross, rather brilliantly, posted the picture above on Instagram.

I take a very dim view of cheating in general. Cheaters suck, at least these two have the balls to admit their mistake. I genuinely don’t think it signifies something wrong with the relationship. I think sometimes its easy to get carried away, and easy to cover it up.

Lets face facts here, its Kristen who’s going to bear the brunt of the fallout. She’s high-profile, she and Pattinson have legions of fans and she’s female and therefore the sexual gatekeeper.

So what do you think, is this a career ender for Kristen?

VIVA LA FIDELITY!

Oh Dude, Seriously?

 

According to Scientific American, dudes you’re friends with think you only want them for their bodies. Seriously man? We can’t just be friends?

When Harry Met Sally tells us that men and women can never really be friends ‘because the sex thing always gets in the way.’ I love that film but I have to disagree. I have male friends and it’s never so much as crossed my mind to get down and dirty with them. (Also I’m convinced that genitally they’re smooth like a car bonnet.)

Now I obviously can’t speak for them, but I THINK my platonic feelings are returned, pure as the boring driven snow. I don’t see any revelations of love coming my way, and I genuinely trust and value these guys as friends.

Which is why the findings of Scientific American have thrown me off.

So they only surveyed 80 pairs of opposite gender buddies and found that men were more likely to be attracted to their lady-brosephs, and to think that the attraction was mutual.

Women were more likely to claim pure platonic feelings for their man-buds.

I really think men can make fantastically loyal friends, plus they bring a different perspective to problems. Ok, they’re useless at noticing when you have a new top/haircut/amputated arm, but they’re generally brilliant and funny.

What do you think, can men and women ever truly be friends?

VIVA LA FRIENDSHIP!

We demand more thigh meat!

Teenagers in the US have secured 28,000 signatures for a petition asking teen oriented fashion magazines to stop airbrushing body shapes.

‘Brilliant!’ Says this reclining nude Barbie, who’s totally cool with her shape and junk.

I too would love to see a broader range of bodies in my fashion magazines, but that ain’t never gonna happen for one simple reason. Tiny teenage runway models sell clothes. I look at shit going down the runway or in a fashion editorial and think “BAM, new trouser shape.” Not “Why is she so thin?”.

Models are just clothes horses, what has to change is the perception that magazines depict anything approaching reality.

Instead (or perhaps as well as) of making magazine girls look human, we should have other role models for girls to look up to. Women with careers and ordinary bodies and brains and flaws and talents and THIGHS damn it!

VIVA LA THIGH MEAT!

Grrr… Patriarchy

So I’m pro-choice (just in case you missed the picture, because it’s very subtle.) However I live in a one of the only first world countries without access to abortion. (Here’s a hint, it’s full of drunks and leprechauns.) Even when an abortion is medically mandated, we send women to the UK to have them.

In addition to those with pregnancy complications, 12 Irish women a day travel to the UK for an abortion.

Then we allow advertising like this:

This kind of manipulative DRIVEL is all over Dublin at the moment. If someone from Youth Defence would like to explain what terminating a group of cells the size of a grain of rice has to do with a full term fetus sucking its fucking thumbI’ll happily listen. This warped advertising creates shame and stigmatizes a medical procedure.

The Irish government are currently squabbling over the expert group on abortion. Not that the expert group have actually MADE any fucking recommendations yet, their report is due in September. So 20 years after the X case, we’re still waiting for a government willing to tackle irish reproductive law.

This is just embarrassing lads.

VIVA LA CHOICE!

Are Rape Jokes Funny?

So a Daniel Tosh , a US comedian I’ve never heard of, has gotten himself into some hot water re:rape jokes.

At the laugh factory in Hollywood Tosh made a comment that comedy is supposed to make the dreadful parts of life more bearable. As an example of this he mentioned rape. An audience member called out “actually rape jokes are never funny” to which Tosh replied that it would be funny if 5 guys raped her right then.

He’s apologised already, but the internet has its knickers in a serious twist and the debate is raging: Are rape jokes funny?

What do you think? Can we dictate topics that are off-limits for comedians?

Here’s a sampler:

“The problem is that every woman in her entire life has that one moment when you think, ‘Oh! Here’s my rape!'”

– Ever Mainard

VIVA LA DEBATE!

So! The date went well! Really well, in fact it was ten hours long. That seems successful to me!

Date Guy is really funny and attractive and smart and cool. We had great chats, he’s interesting and we’re into the same stuff. He has an English accent, which I like. (Basically ANY accent does it for me. Ladies, is this unusual, do you like an accent? Gentlemen, do you HAVE an accent? Either way get in touch in the comment section for God’s sake!)

Anyway, excellent date CHECK!

HOWEVER its been TWO WHOLE DAYS and I haven’t heard anything!

Not one word.

What I need here is a survey: How satisfied are you, Date Guy? Check the appropriate box please! I WAS very satisfied, but with every hour my satisfaction diminishes and my panic grows.

So tonight, with the help and encouragement of a few (dozen) friends, I sent Date Guy a text. This is unprecedented for me. I’m not old fashioned, I don’t think its his job to text first because he’s the dude, but i DO need the validation that comes with that text.

And it feels great to be in charge at least a tiny bit, I can’t control his response, but at least I’ve put myself out there.

So what do you think, what is the etiquette of the post-first-date-text?

VIVA LA SLUT!